More Precious Than Gold

It is the Olympic season- TV, Newspapers, blog sites, and advertising have all been reminding us lately that the games are on! Even if you are not interested in any or all of the competitions, the results are everywhere. The most celebrated headlines are, as always, who won the gold medal, the back-story, the celebration. Yes, silver and bronze do get the occasional mention but in the context of “runners-up.” The Olympics are a wonderful, peaceful way for nations to compete and to celebrate the human quest for excellence. The “games” really can be an inspiration- an example of focus, sacrifice, and dedication to being the best. However, that inspiration comes at a price. We live in a time in which the message is often given that being “the best” is the only acceptable position. Worse than that, our culture has reached a point at which we tell everyone that they are winners. In so many circles real competition is frowned upon- don’t make the “losers” feel bad. Children are told that they are the best and that everyone is a winner. I see it so often- young people who can’t handle “defeat” on any level. I often think that America has raised a generation of real “losers” because we have not taught our children how to handle life’s most common circumstances- coming in second or third or (God forbid) last. Real life teaches us that we will not succeed in everything that we try. It’s true in the workplace, in personal life, and even in our hobbies. I have always wanted to draw or paint but the truth is, as much as I would like to, I have no talent for either! The truth is that all too many of us have never learned to deal with disappointment or “second place.” Joshua Berkowitz has written a new book, Third Base For Life: A Memoir of Fathers, Sons, and Baseball. In the book he tells the story of a school team he coached, The Rashi Rams. Yes, the baseball team from a Jewish Day School. Hmmm… Jewish baseball players, you know how this will end already! The team was not the greatest but the kids loved baseball. Berkowitz managed to get the team invited to a Cooperstown Invitational Series. The book relates the outcome. The Rashi Rams lost every game they played. They came in 96th place out of 69 teams. Were they losers? No, they came away from the experience happier with the game than ever. They had the opportunity to compete, they met new people, and they grew closer as a team. Winning had nothing to do with the outcome. They were there to play for the love of the game. I wish we could teach that message to our children. Winning is not about the gold medal, it is about the chance to do something you love. Winning is about trying and, if you fail, trying again. The most precious lesson any of us can ever learn is not about winning- it is about learning what to do when you don’t when. That is a lesson more precious than gold.